About six years ago, I made the decision to lose weight. I dropped a total of 70 pounds. I was at my thinnest I had been in a long time. I was that annoying person that would post on Social Media that I was going to the gym to work out. I loved to go to Zumba and swim at the local 24 Hour Fitness. I counted my calories. It feels like so long ago that I was that person. 2011-2012. This was just before I graduated from Eastfield College and made the move to the University of North Texas. I don’t know what happened to me but over the three years that I was there, the weight came back and more. I was in a relationship that was causing me more stress than happiness. I was also balancing classes and two jobs. My life took on a ‘eat-on-the-go’ mentality. Then I graduated and came to Texas A&M University-Commerce, the weight continued to come back because I now lived in a small town and struggled to remain busy. I was so accustomed to going from classes to one job to an 8 hour shift at the hospital that everything came to a screeching halt.
Looking back over the past few years, I’ve realized that depression has been my constant companion. Then, add in a dose of anxiety. I had gone to the counseling centers to talk to people but in that moment, it only felt like a 1-minute fix. I was fine when I left but being at home, I was back to wanting to just sleep, eat, and ignore the world. At one point, I was given antidepressants because my anxiety was giving me chest pain that would hurt so bad I thought something was wrong. My EKG was fine. The antidepressants helped balance me out for the period of time I had them. Even now, 2017, no medicine, I still struggle with depression. I’ve tried to get them back but a few counseling sessions later and I’m back feeling depressed. However, I realize that I am allowing my depression to enable my weight gain.
I never make resolutions because I never seem to stick to them. I actually do not know one person that does. However, I think my mind has decided I will do something different. With my Masters graduation day creeping closer, (130 days,YIKES!) I know that I will be starting a full time job and making a move. When I think about that, I ask myself if I really want to be on the continuous weight gain track. It’s time for me to stop, even if I go back to the baby steps that I originally took on my first journey: cutting out soda and sugar. The next step was being cautious about what I actually put in my mouth. Living alone, I don’t exactly enjoy cooking for myself. I need to get out of that mindset.
Everyone is using the phrase, New Year, New Me. I’m choosing 2017 to be my new me. It’s already off to a great start. January 1st was my last soda. I came back to Commerce to go grocery shopping and filled my cart with fruit, salad, and turkey meat. Today, I had a banana, made a salad, had a spaghetti dinner with no meat, and ended my night with an apple and caramel. My drink of choice all day has been water with propel. You’re probably wondering at this point why I am including my meal of the day. The answer is simple, because normally, I would be the person going to Sonic or McDonalds for dinner. This is a momentum, I really hope that I can continue once work really starts and I am back on the study grind, preparing for comps.
It’s time to get back to the thin person that lives inside of me. I’m making 2017 my year to make it happen!
-Elizabeth R. Webb